"Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,” at least here in Wyoming. We are snow covered but the sun is out today and it may not last long. I usually put off my shopping until the twenty-third. I am not kidding. I do this so that what I buy is about the only thing left—that way I can rest assured that the people getting my most wonderful gifts will not get a duplicate. By the 23ed all the good stuff is gone leaving me to shop for the leftovers. I try to avoid the Halloween stuff, although there are some good buys, but I avoid it because I really don’t like orange. This year I, once again, bought some things online—I buy early online so I can get the good stuff.
I will spend the next few days stretching and jogging getting ready to shop like crazy on the 23ed—hope I’m up for it.

Shoveling Snow

More snow—and this time Ice. I hate shoveling snow with ice where the sidewalk should be. Thinking about attaching my weed burner, people in Wyoming really have weed burners, to the front of my shovel. That way I can push snow and melt ice at the same time. Not sure if “Inventions Are Us.com,” is ready for that one yet. We have had about a foot of snow so far this year but have only a few inches on the ground now.

Winter comes to Wyoming

Snowed all day—must be seven or eight feet out there by now. When I walked to work it was snowing so hard I thought I went blind. Everything is white all buildings are covered and cars look like giant snow balls rolling down the highway. Last time it snowed like this it took two and a half years to melt and Wyoming became the sixth great lake—I believe it was Lake Wyoming. No one is shoveling their walks anymore we just mark them with spray paint in case someone comes by on snowshoes. I did make it to the grocery store and picked up: white bread, milk, marshmallows, pasta, sugar and flour. I was afraid if I bought anything that was not white I would not be able to find it in my pickup. Lucky for me I had a little extra time and went back and picked up some cauliflower and ream of printer paper. (Couldn’t think of anymore white food)

Winter

Looks like winter is here, cold, windy, snow and I like to stay in the house. I live at 7200 feet so guess that is normal. But as Uncle Paul would say—Here is the rest of the Story.

Friday morning, a morning like all other Friday mornings, except colder, as I walked to school something happened that I had never seen before. And that is - as in never in all my considerable years. We were walking and talking, enjoying the huge snowflakes falling on a windless morning. For some reason I turned and looked behind me and the words we had spoken were hanging in the air, frozen. I had been able to see my breath since we left the house but I had no idea that my words were freezing. They only lasted a few seconds before falling to the ground and shattering into snow.
Lucky for me no one else saw the frozen words.

Indian Summer

It was cold in Wyoming, now it’s warm again. This time of year has been called Indian Summer for a long time. Now that I’ve got your attention by casually mentioning the weather and everyone loves talking about the weather. Here is why this time of year is called Indian Summer. I have no idea—just kidding.

People have speculated for two-hundred years over the derivation of the term Indian Summer. Many guesses as to where it came from have been tried but here is the correct and proper answer—or maybe I made it up yesterday.

Indian summer which must follow a hard frost is named after the time of year when the indigenous peoples of the plains harvested crops. Crops the natives planted east of the Missouri River and the harvest of wild plumbs and roots west of the big river. It was also the time for hunting, curing and storing of the meat for the winter sure to come.

There you have it from the one who knows—or made it up—Indian Summer!

It's Almost Time to Vote

It’s almost time to vote, we have one debate left to make up our minds. That is unless you already know who your guy is.
The economy is making a real mess of the candidate’s promises for less taxes and help with everything from health insurance to house payments.
If you have not made up your mind yet write in the old coach, if I win I’ll do something, not sure what. But here is my best try.

• I will put a chicken in every pot—opps, think FDR already promised that.

• Read my lips, no new taxes, opps, think Bush # 1 said that.

• Snow in the months of December, January and February only.

• A law against cell phones in the grocery store—“do we need butter, honey? How’s the milk, and did you say we were out of crackers?”

• Gas prices to remain at $1.25 per gallon

Large government grants will go to

• Inventors working on a trash can that will separate and recycle after I throw everything in.

• Someone that invents a car that runs on air

• A peace plan that works

• And finally to a member of the U.S. House or Senate that is elected to be a statesman not just a politician.

• Oh and a large grant to me so I can get a place on the beach in Hawaii during Wyoming’s six or eight months of winter.



Can’t wait for the election to be over so my taxes will go down, my business will be saved, my health insurance will be paid for, the air will be cleaner, we will be respected around the globe and all will be good in the world—again.

Vice Presidential Debut

I’m watching the Vice Presidential Debate as I write this blog so if I end in the middle of a sentence I must have had a heart attach.

“What could cause a wise old guy like you to have a heart attach,” you ask.

 

If one or the other says any of the following—

 

1. Anything about balancing  the Budget
2. Something that would bail me out
3. Lower gasoline prices
4. That someone has figured out something about Iraq and Afghanistan.
5. I’m starting to think about turning to the Baseball Game—don’t count that one.
6. Start paying down the deficit***or is that too much like number one?
7. Lucky for me I caught myself, on number six above, I typed defecate instead deficit-wow- talk about a Freudian slip. Good thing I caught it before publishing, might have messed up my chance to win a blogging Pulitzer.
8. The guy I’m running with is a dud but elect me as VP and the country will be on the right track
9. We caught Osama ben Laden.
10. I will, we will, when elected—Bla, Bla, Bla *-*  Bla, Bla –About ready to turn this stuff off.
11. Same old promises I will vote for the one that is telling the truth—now who is that?

 

Remember, regardless of how you feel, get out and vote, vote early and vote often.

 

One final note, be sure to …………………………

Tags: Vice president debut, coachwaring, neil waring, humor, political humor