Young Again

Good News—I think!

Read in today's newspaper that age 65 is today’s 55. Is that good? I am in between and was almost looking forward to retirement but maybe I should wait until I’m 75 because that would be 65.

            I really am pretty healthy – but then again if I’m 60 now, in today’s world that is 50—young enough, should be healthy.

            Except for a really messed up big toe (not doctors lingo), bad hip, sore shoulders, bum elbow, high triglycerides, (no idea how to spell that word and my computer is so old the spell checker has never heard of it before), high blood pressure, high cholesterol, low income (starting to get high so I tossed that one in), I’m felling pretty healthy.  

            I over eat a little and under exercise, my hair fell out and I lapped over my belt buckle a bit. Can’t remember things like I used too, and run into more stuff and drop more things than I did a few years ago. I can’t get to sleep and when I do I wake up with a sore neck. Allergy season ends when cold season starts, leaving me sneezing every day of the year except my birthday when I stumble around in shock and marvel at the fact that I am really feeling ten years younger than my birthday.

            Can’t seem to remember what time of the year white shoes are in and black shoes are out. Need to rest more than I work and think every candidate for office is a young whippersnapper.

            Other than those few maladies I feel ten years younger than I did before I read today’s newspaper.

            Can’t wait for Monday morning—back to work almost a youngster.

Tags: age, stay young, health, coachwaring, neil waring, humor, age humor, memory

Football Rules

Tough time of the year for me, getting cold, fall heading into winter, nope.  Lots of people in Wyoming call this time of year hunting season, but not me, it’s the end of golf and the beginning of football. There is some difference—I play golf and watch football. I like to play golf at this time of year. Not many people on the course and it’s really not that hard to find golf balls in the snow, they almost always leave a trail. This year I am going to limit myself to watching only five or six football games a week. That may sound like a lot to many people but about half of what I usually do. I even have a few suggestions for new rules to make football more exciting.

 

1. Use two footballs instead of one.
2. Allow holding—anywhere, anytime
3. Ten points for a drop kick field goal of over twenty-five yards
4. Let the soda and hot dog venders on the sidelines and into the huddle during time outs.
5. Have all teams wear white uniforms
6. Fine any network using a sideline reporter one million dollars—I really hate sideline reporters.
7. All music in the stadium must be from the band—no more obnoxious music blaring from huge million dollar boom boxes.
8. All football games must be played outside
9. Instant replays will be sent to the nearest local sports bar with everyone in the bar getting three votes
10. Night games will be played without lights—players will be allowed flashlights and spectators are each allowed two glow sticks

Tags: fall, football, golf, new football rules, wyoming, hunting, neil waring, coach waring, humor, stuff I made up

It’s starting to look like winter fall in Wyoming. The aspen are turning and frost has already reared its ugly head. A few days ago it frosted so hard I couldn’t walk to work, I skied instead. Slick as ice all the way only fell down a half dozen time. My tomatoes froze—I picked them and hung them upside down in the garage. They should ripen okay I’m told. I did notice a sticker on one that said-mix with six ounces of cold tap water for a delicious tomato-ee, juice like drink. Maybe they froze too hard!

Tags: Tomato, food, garden, wyoming, aspen trees, fall, neil waring, coach waring, humor, garden humor, stuff, garden blog