Football Rules

Tough time of the year for me, getting cold, fall heading into winter, nope.  Lots of people in Wyoming call this time of year hunting season, but not me, it’s the end of golf and the beginning of football. There is some difference—I play golf and watch football. I like to play golf at this time of year. Not many people on the course and it’s really not that hard to find golf balls in the snow, they almost always leave a trail. This year I am going to limit myself to watching only five or six football games a week. That may sound like a lot to many people but about half of what I usually do. I even have a few suggestions for new rules to make football more exciting.

 

1. Use two footballs instead of one.
2. Allow holding—anywhere, anytime
3. Ten points for a drop kick field goal of over twenty-five yards
4. Let the soda and hot dog venders on the sidelines and into the huddle during time outs.
5. Have all teams wear white uniforms
6. Fine any network using a sideline reporter one million dollars—I really hate sideline reporters.
7. All music in the stadium must be from the band—no more obnoxious music blaring from huge million dollar boom boxes.
8. All football games must be played outside
9. Instant replays will be sent to the nearest local sports bar with everyone in the bar getting three votes
10. Night games will be played without lights—players will be allowed flashlights and spectators are each allowed two glow sticks

Tags: fall, football, golf, new football rules, wyoming, hunting, neil waring, coach waring, humor, stuff I made up